A Soldier's Worst Nightmare
by Heroine of the Valley
Summary: The unthinkable happens to Heero. Also has some mystery and suspense. I added more to this. I thought it was too short.
1. A Soldier's Worst Nightmare 1

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A Soldier's Worst Nightmare

I do not own Gundam Wing (how many times must I keep saying that?)

Heero took the Wing Zero on a separate mission. He didn't' tell anybody what he was planning on doing or where he was going. He himself didn't know. He just had a feeling that he had to go to outer space for some reason. _I need to know,_ he thought, _know what my mission is. Who am I? Where do I belong? _He knew nothing more than being a soldier and gundam pilot.

"Where the heck is Heero?" Duo asked the other pilots. "Has anyone seen him?" He was in a white tank top with a Hawaiian over shirt (kind of like what Ace Ventura wore all the time) and white slacks. Around his neck was a silver cross.

"Not since yesterday," Trowa replied, wearing a gray tank top and carpenter jeans.

"Have you noticed he's been acting different lately?" Quatre asked, standing up from his chair. He wore a dark blue button up shirt with a black vest and black slacks. 

"What do you mean?" Duo mumbled, "he's the same crazy guy he's always been."

"No, Duo," Quatre shook his head, "it's like he's hiding something."

"Heero's _always _hiding _something._"

"Aren't we all hiding something from everybody here?" Wufei demanded. "Isn't that why we all became gundam pilots? If Heero's gone somewhere, he wants to be alone." He wore a black long sleeved shirt with gold Chinese characters on the chest and a dragon and black jeans.

"Wing Zero's gone too," Duo said, "why would he take it if we haven't been getting any threats?"

"Duo, come quick!" Hilde shouted, running into the room, "there's an urgent message from outer space!" She wore a purple tank top with yellow seams and white jeans and white tennis shoes.

"What's the matter?" he jumped up and grabbed her arms, "Hilde, what is it?"

"Just come with me, okay?" she led them into the room she was just in. It was the radio room. 

Dorothy was still using the microphone and when Hilde came, she got up and let Hilde take her seat, "she wants to speak to you, Hilde," Dorothy said. "Tell her you've got the pilots with you." She remained standing next to the chair and wore an orange knee-length skirt and a white blouse.

"Thanks, Dorothy." She took the microphone and sat down. "This is Hilde Schbeiker. Can you tell me what you saw, please?" she swallowed her fear as she spoke into the microphone. "I have the other gundam pilots with me."

"Yes," a woman's voice answered, "I saw something like a shooting star, but as it came closer, it was Gundam 01, Wing Zero. Then it just, well, exploded in space. There's no way the pilot could have survived."

Trowa blinked. The voice sounded familiar.

"What?" Duo grabbed the microphone from Hilde, "how can that be? Where did you see the gundam? Are you saying that…Heero's dead?"

"I'm not mistaken, sir. I was in my shuttle flying to the L2 colony. I saw the gundam blow up with my own eyes."

"Did it look like it was damaged before the explosion?"

"No sir," the woman's voice answered with concern, "it looked just fine. It flew right by my shuttle and then a few seconds later, it just exploded, like the pilot self…"

"Detonated?" Quatre finished.

"Yes sir. I'm sorry." 

"Thank you," Hilde said into the microphone and then switched it off, "Vice Minister Dorlian won't like this." she groaned.

"Won't like what?" Relena entered the room and then eyed everyone's expression. "What's going on?" She was wearing a yellow floral sundress. 

"Relena…I just got a call from someone in space. They told me they saw Heero."

"Where is he?"

"In space."

Relena swallowed, "off to fight again?"

"We don't know what he was doing there." Duo said. "We didn't even know he left for space."

"Well, when is he coming back?"

Everyone was quiet and then Dorothy came to her, trying to keep her cries under control, "Relena," she began softly but straight forward, "Heero isn't coming back."

The sorrowful look in her eyes and the straight forwardness in her voice was much more for her to handle, "Heero's…dead?"

"I'm sorry. There was no way he could've survived."

A stray tear formed in her eye and began to fall down her cheek. Dorothy reached for her shoulder to comfort her, but Relena knocked her arm away and left, muffling her cries with her hand. 

"This isn't right," Hilde murmured, still sitting down, "I just don't understand!" she rubbed her forehead, "Why would Heero leave to outer space just to commit suicide?"

"Because that's where he lives," Duo answered, slightly rubbing her back, "we all came from outer space."

"Doesn't make it right."

"I'm going for a drive," Dorothy sighed. "I need some fresh air." 

"Want me to come with you?" Quatre asked in almost a form of a beg. He longed to be with her.

"Thanks, but I'd rather be alone." She turned around and started walking down the hall. Walking while thinking of how many important and powerful people died, she stopped at the music room and saw Relena crying on top of the piano bench. "Poor Relena," she whispered to herself, shaking her head. Then kept walking.

Quatre rubbed the back of his head, "at times like this, I play music. It's the only thing that can make me feel better."

"Yeah," Duo mumbled. "Later."

Quatre went to the music room and found Relena still crying on top of the piano bench. He came up to her and began rubbing her head, "I'm surprised that you'd be here."

"I'm sorry, I should have known you'd come into this room too." Relena mumbled into her arms. She raised her head and revealed her tear stained cheeks, "I just came to the nearest open room, I didn't want to walk all the way to my room just to cry."

Quatre bent down, "want me to play a song for you? Music helps me cope with a lot of things."

"Thanks Quatre," she wiped the tears from her eyes, "but there's nothing you can say or do to help. Heero's…gone!" 

"It's quite a shock." Quatre agreed.

"What made him think he had no way out? I thought Gundam Pilots were supposed to be strong."

"We're just soldiers, Relena," Quatre told her, "not gods."

"I don't understand, Quatre, he's like the perfect soldier! And he died, but not in a war, he killed himself!"

"Maybe he felt like he couldn't live this life anymore," Quatre said simply, "I knew he was acting differently, but I had no idea he'd do something like this again."

"I heard about that," Relena mumbled, "and he survived." She leaned forward and took his hand, "but he survived, right? So, then maybe he'll survive again, won't he?"

"I don't know Relena."

"Won't he? If he's survived so many things in war, how could self detonating stop him now?"

"Relena, I don't know!" he put his hands on her shoulders, "It's amazing how he survived the things he did, I don't know _where_ he got the training for that! But Relena, Heero's just human. He's not immortal!"

"I didn't even get to say goodbye," she said as her voice began to break.

"None of us did," Quatre said as he took her in her arms. "It's awful I know." He began stroking her hair. 

Relena tightened her arms around Quatre's neck. She never knew how good it felt to be held in his arms. Heero never held her once although she always hoped he would. But he protected her, why wouldn't he share his feelings with her if he ended up doing his best to protect her? But she didn't care anymore. He was gone and she was being held now, even though it wasn't Heero's arms around her now, she was being held and it felt good. She took advantage of it and unloaded her pain to Quatre. "What am I supposed to do now? I cared so much about Heero."

"I don't know," he pulled back, "you'll have to figure out by yourself."

They looked at each other for a moment and maybe because of the turmoil inside Relena's heart, she kissed Quatre's lips. Quatre's eyes widened and his arms fell to his side. Relena kept kissing Quatre's lips while she gently held his head, something she always wanted to do to Heero but never got the chance to. Heero never loved her like she loved him. He didn't let her get close to him. There was always a wall between them that she couldn't get through, but why? Didn't he care for her at all? These things were swimming though her head while she kissed Quatre. 

Quatre got over his surprise and then closed his eyes. He returned the kiss while he started rubbing her back. He was on an emotional roller coaster going a thousand miles an hour. His body ached as if he ran a marathon but he did nothing of a sort. He never did strenuous exercise because of his heart but that didn't keep him from becoming a gundam pilot. The same thing in that went though Relena's head went through his. He always wanted to hold Dorothy like this. Kiss her like this. Be with her like this and she never let him get close to her. But why? He would have done anything for her. It broke his heart to leave her alone on Libra. He could feel the pain she was going through. Her sorrow was so thick that Quatre could have cut it with his fencing coil. The tension and pain was all around them mixed with pure chemistry. He wanted nothing more than to hold her and run his fingers in her hair, but he was a gundam pilot. A kind gundam pilot, but a gundam pilot nonetheless. He had a mission to fulfill. But even after the whole war, he still cared about Dorothy and she still pushed him away. He cared about a lot of people, some people he never got the names of. Like the man he saw in the marketplace who was harassed by soldiers. He didn't get the man's name and he didn't even give him his own. He gave so many people hope for peace, something to believe in. He just hoped he was able to change Dorothy's life. He cared for her and he loved her.

Now he was holding Relena in his arms and tasting her lips, feeling her heart beating close to his. He always wanted to be with Dorothy and never got the chance. But it didn't seem to matter anymore. He just wanted to hold _someone._ Quatre just wanted to feel needed. No more missions, no more war. Just quiet. He didn't love Relena but she still had a special place in his heart. He sometimes wondered why Heero pushed her away. It was obvious she wanted to be near him. But Heero's gone now and Relena's all alone. _Well, without Heero here to protect her,_ Quatre thought, kissing Relena again, _I'm going to take his place. I'll see that she won't be harmed._

Relena felt all the pain go away with each kiss from Quatre. It felt good, oh, so good, just _perfect_ being in his arms. She fetl like nothing could touch her. Why wouldn't Heero hold her like this? Why was he so committed to war? Was war the only thing he thought about? He was so mysterious. But she couldn't cling to him anymore because she was no longer alone. _He never loved me anyway,_ she thought to herself, sliding her lips down Quatre's chin and across his neck, _what a fool I was to fall for a guy who tried to kill me. _I'm being held now, so why should I feel so sad? It shouldn't matter now, I'm safe. Heero was a strong man, yes, but he's gone and there's no way he'll be back. _I'll be okay. Quatre's with me. _She thought as she smiled at Quatre, "You're going to take care of me now, aren't you?"

Quatre nodded as he stroked her cheek with his finger, "anything, Relena, anything for you."

Dorothy kept changing the stations and the volume while she drove. She was driving down the country side. Her foot was pressed against the accelerator. Many things filled her mind. _Why Quatre, why? Why do you feel like you have to shelter me so much?_ She thought to herself. She didn't love him in the least, although she was thankful to him. He opened her eyes and she saw the real picture about war and realized it wasn't as beautiful as it appeared to be. It was really ugly underneath the surface. He was so kind to her. But she didn't need him or his kindness. 

It was Heero Yuy she had her eyes on. She didn't know why, but she thought it was because he was so brave and strong. She admired the fact that he could just get in his mobile suit and go to war and not worry about dying. And he had no reason too. He was remarkable on the battlefield. Nothing could touch him. She wondered if every soldier was like that. _That_, was the real beauty of war. Not fearing death and fighting for what you believed in, even if you had to die for it. She took great advantage of their duel. When he stabbed through her helmet and nearly nicked her face, outside she was smiling but inside she was screaming. She practiced fencing for years and she never saw such excellent fencing. She'd never challenge Heero Yuy to a dueling match again. Because he was gone. Tears came to her eyes like bees to honey. She really adored Heero Yuy. She knew that Relena loved him too. That was maybe the only thing they had in common. 

"Why," she said, biting her lip as the tears came down, "Why, Heero?" her voice became angered, "why, damn you!?" she kept going faster and faster until she realized she was going over the speed limit and knew no matter how fast she went, there was some things she couldn't run away from. She slowed down and pulled over. She slapped the steering wheel and got out of her car while slamming the door. She banged on the hood.

A white Cadillac slowed down and a girl poked her head out of the passenger window. "Do you need help?" she asked. A man, possibly her father was driving. They thought she had car trouble.

Dorothy suddenly felt stupid. She let her anger control her again. "No, I've got it handled. Thanks." She gave a weak smile and nodded.

"Okay." They drove away.

"These things shouldn't happen to soldiers in war," she muttered to herself. "Where's the beauty and grace in that? Just what kind of soldier are you anyway?" A gust of wind pushed her long hair back. "Damn you, Heero Yuy," she said as her anger rose and her eyes glistened with tears, "Damn you."

"Duo, where are you going?" Hilde demanded, following him to the space shuttle with Deathscythe.

"Outer space, what does it look like?" he went aboard.

"Well then, I'm coming with you." She came up behind him and put her hands on her hips.

"No you're not!" he spun around. "I am going by myself."

"You think Heero's still alive and you're going to look for him, aren't you?" she asked, folding her arms, "well, outer space is big, Duo and it's too much for you to cover by yourself."

"You don't get it do you?" Duo sighed. 

"Get what?" she asked, "come on Duo, let me come with you."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes." She nodded, "dead serious. Heero went out there by himself and he tried to kill himself Duo! I'm certain that he's out there floating around in space somewhere and I know where that woman saw him, you don't."

"You're coming along because you think I'll try the same thing Heero did, don't you?" Duo came close and pointed his finger at her. "Hilde, are you afraid that I'll kill myself in outer space?"

She was silent. She turned her head away.

"That's it, isn't it?" he tilted his head to try to meet her eyes. "You're afraid of losing me. Answer me!" He grabbed her and shook her.

"Yes, Duo. I don't want to get another message from a shuttle saying that they saw another gundam self detonate." She said with a frown. "I don't ever want to be in Relena's place, understand?" Her frown turned into a sneer and she knocked his arms down and grabbed him by the collar of his over shirt. "So if you're going to outer space, I'm coming with you Duo Maxwell and there's not a damn thing you can do about it! Understand?"

"God, Hilde Schbeiker," Duo said with a smile, "what would I do without you?"

"You're probably kill yourself or get killed," she said without returning his smile. "I love you Duo and if I hear about Deathscythe exploding in space, it'll just kill me!" she dropped her hand and put it on her chest, "Dammit, Duo, I didn't have to do all those things for you but I did because I believed in you. If you die, what will I believe in? I'll never find anyone else like you so please, don't blow it, okay?" she took his hand, "I couldn't stand it if something happened to you."

"That's why you can't come to outer space with me," Duo said sadly, letting go of her hand, "I don't want anything to happen to you either."

"But Duo, nothing has happened to me _because_ of you. I need you Duo." Her lip trembled as she walked forward to throw her arms around his neck. "I just want to be with you, I don't care what happens, I just want to be with you!"

Duo instinctually tightened his arms around her. He never embraced Hilde before and scolded himself silently because he hasn't. He had feelings for the girl who risked her life for him. Of course he was mad at her, but he was grateful to her. It showed guts. He liked girls with guts. "Okay, if that's what you want." He said into her ear, "you can come with me. Just you and nobody else."

"Nothing will happen as long as we've got each other," she murmured. "Besides, we've had some good times, didn't we?"

"Yeah, some damn good times," he agreed with a smile. He rubbed her back and remembered the memories they shared. "Maybe it is good for you to come with me, because I'm not just going to look for Heero. I'm going to go back home."

"To your colony?" she asked as she pulled back.

"Yeah, there's some old friends I should see and maybe it's good for you to meet them." He sat down in the pilot seat and began to switch the buttons. 

She sat in the co pilot's seat. And looked at him. She was about to put on her seatbelt when she quickly fell into his arms and began kissing him. 

He returned the kiss and smiled, "what was that for?"

"I just wanted to thank you for letting me come a long," she said, smiling back.

He kissed her again, "you're welcome. Now, let's go to space!"

Trowa began walking to the MS holding unit. He saw that Deathscythe was missing, "now Duo's gone." He cupped his chin, "is he going to try to kill himself too?" His eyes widened up. "Hey, guys!" he ran outside and then bumped into Wufei.

"Dammit, Trowa!" Wufei grumbled as he pulled himself up, "why don't you watch where you're going?"

"Sorry, Wufei," Trowa apologized, "Duo's gone and he took Deathscythe with him!"

"Where's Quatre?" Wufei demanded.

"I dunno. Do you think we should go after Duo?"

Wufei shook his head, "Duo will be fine. He probably doesn't want us coming after him."

"Would he try the same thing Heero did?"

"I doubt it," he pointed to Hilde's Taurus, "because I don't think he's alone."

"Hilde, do you know where we should be going?" Duo asked as he took the controls. They just left the Earth's atmosphere and headed to outer space.

"L2 colony, that's where the witness was headed," Hilde said. "I talked to her again after everyone left. She's waiting for us there."

"Did you catch her name?"

"Yeah. Julianne Foster."

Trowa decided to get his mind off this whole mess by practicing his gymnast techniques. He was on the two rings, flipping around and pulling himself up. The woman's voice on the radio played over and over in his head. "Why is it that she sounded familiar?" he asked himself, holding himself up and then letting himself down. "Why do I feel like I know her?"

He could hear Wufei in the next room shouting and kicking. He too was doing all he knew to get himself away. Wufei kept punching the punching bag and kicking it. Then he kicked it so hard that the bag fell off from the rope. "This shouldn't have happened." He muttered to himself. "Gundam pilots have no reason to be suicidal."

Quatre and Relena were siting outside underneath a tree. Relena had her head resting on Quatre's shoulder. Quatre rested his head on hers. It felt so right. He wondered why he never got the chance to be with Dorothy like this. _Where is Dorothy anyway?_ He thought to himself.

Relena's eyes shot open and she pulled her head off Quatre's shoulder suddenly, like something bit her.

"Relena, what's wrong?" he asked as he put his hands on her arms.

She was breathing very fast, "Heero and I were in outer space and then I saw him die! It was awful! I told him not to go but he wouldn't listen to me!"

"Relena, it's okay," he rubbed her arms a little, "you just had a bad dream. Calm down. Shhhh."

"It was so real." She sighed, laying her head back on Quatre's shoulder. "Heero didn't deserve to die."

"I know." He agreed. "Hey, where's Duo and Hilde?"

"I don't know. I just hope they didn't go outer space to kill themselves too."

"Noo, Duo wouldn't do a thing like that."

Dorothy got lost and pulled into a diner for directions. She got out of her car and looked at her side view mirror. She was a mess. She had tearstained cheeks and her eye make up was smudged. _There's no way I'm going in there like this!_ she thought to herself. She took a tissue and dabbed her face and then applied fresh eye make up. Taking a breath, she went inside. 

"Did you hear about the gundam in space?" a old man asked a younger man in a booth.

"No."

"The pilot just blew up. Wasn't fighting anyone."

"Why would anyone do that?" the younger man gasped.

"No one knows. Awful isn't it?"

"Sure is. The poor kid."

__

News travels fast, she thought to herself. "Excuse me," she caught a waitress that was just whizzing by.

"Do you need a table?" 

"No, I'm just lost. Never been out here before." She told her where she was trying to go and then the waitress kindly gave her directions. Dorothy began to leave when she was heard the younger man and older man still talking about the gundam pilot.

"Well, I guess the kid must have been a nobody or did something wrong to think he had to do that." The younger man said. "Kids these days, they can do nothing right, huh Dad? I couldn't even get my kids do obey me."

"And I thought you were a handful." The older man said with a laugh, "but you're right son, the gundam pilots were just kids and they shouldn't be piloting those things. What kind of life is that? The poor young fool."

Dorothy's hands scrunched into fists and she stormed to the men into the booth, "How dare you!" she said in a harsh whisper, "I knew that gundam pilot and I loved him! Vice Minister Relena Dorlian loved him too! He was no fool, he was a brave, strong young man!" She pointed her finger at them judgmentally "he was a solder, dammit! Maybe he made a few mistakes, but we all make mistakes! If you've seen the things he's seen maybe you could understand why he did what he did, so you better watch what you say, you old geezer, because it wasn't for him there would be a never-ending winter on Earth, do you understand me?" she put her hands on her hips as angry tears filled her eyes, "if you ask me, you're the fools. That man's name was Heero Yuy and he was a hero. All the gundam pilots are heroes. Just wait until I tell the others this, you'll wish you never been born! How dare you, how dare you!" she knocked their coffee cups off the table and slammed her hands on the table, "Do you understand!!!?"

"Ma'am, I think you should leave," the waitress said.

The two men in the booth looked down at the spill, as if they were waiting for Dorothy to clean it up.

"I'll leave in a minute," Dorothy muttered, her eyes still on the two men, "You'd better be sorry, because it's us, the young ones who will take over, if you have no faith in us then there's something wrong with you. You'll live to regret this day." She shot them a nasty look and then left, slamming the door behind her. 

"They had no right to talk to you like that, Heero," she said as she walked to her car. "Aren't you glad I stood up for you? Aren't you proud of me?" she laughed her infamous excited laugh. "Yes, you are, aren't you?" she sat in her car and went home, "just wait until the others hear about what I hafta say."

Duo and Hilde landed on L2 colony. Something in the distance caught Duo's eye. He stood up and got off the shuttle, leaving Hilde behind.

"Duo, wait for me!" she started to unbuckle his seatbelt.

"It's still here, like I left it," Duo said, walking to the rubble. He stepped over something and then brushed the ash off with his foot. _Maxwell Church_ the sign said. He crouched down to pick it up and study it.

"Duo," it was Sister Helen's voice.

Duo took his eyes from the sign and he saw the same spot where he found the dying nun who took care of him. He quickly saw her laying there, blood trickling down her mouth. He shook his head, as if trying to erase the image.

"Duo." She said again.

"Duo," Father Maxwell's voice said.

"Duo," It was Solo.

"Where are you?" he stood up, "Father Maxwell? Sister Helen? Solo?"

"Duo." _Louder_

"Where are you?"

"Duo." _Louder_

"Solo?"

"Duo." _Louder_

"Father Maxwell?"

"Duo." _Louder_

"Sister Helen?"

"Duo!" he felt a hand on his shoulder, "Duo, I was calling you, why didn't you answer me?" Hilde's voice. "Duo?"

"I couldn't save them," he muttered, "couldn't save 'em."

"What, Duo? You couldn't save who?" she tightened her hand on his shoulder. "Is this where your friends were, the ones you wanted me to meet?"

"Couldn't save 'em, couldn't save 'em."

"Duo, you're not making any sense!" she shook him. "Come on, snap out of it, you're scaring me!"

Duo turned his eyes back to where he found Sister Helen, "she died right in front of me."

"Who?"

"Sister Helen," Duo replied sadly. "She took care of me. Father Maxell died when I was gone. I couldn't' save him either." He tightened his fists and growled, "Damn, it was Oz! They killed him when I tried to deal with them. I feel so stupid!"

"Oh Duo, that's so horrible," she said with a sympathetic frown. She wrapped her arms around him, "is that why you don't want me to fight with you? Are you afraid you'll lose me too?"

"Every friend I ever had left me."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere, Duo." She reassured him by tightening her arms around his neck. "There's no place I'd rather be than right here with you."

"Thanks, Hilde," he held her close. "You're the best friend I ever had."

****

End Part One. What was Heero doing in outer space? Has Relena fallen for Quatre and what are Dorothys' feelings? Will Duo and Hilde find Heero? Find out in Part 2!

I decided to edit this. Chapter 1 and 2 were too short so I made them bigger and turned the font down.


	2. A Soldier's Worst Nightmare 2

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A Soldier's Worst Nightmare Part 2

I do not own Gundam Wing.

A man with long platinum blond hair aboard a shuttle saw something floating in space, "what is that?" he asked himself. He went to the cockpit, "do you see that? What is it?"

"I don't know, sir."

"Well, get closer to it." They went closer and a body came into view. Pieces of gundanium floated around him, "Oh my god…it's him…"

"Who?"

"I'm going after him."

"But there's nothing we can do for him. We don't know how long he's been out here!"

"I'm taking my suit and I'm going to get him," he walked to the back and got into his mobile suit, the remolded Epyon. As he went near to Heero, the thought about each battle with him. "What are you doing out here alone? You're supposed to be protecting my sister." He closed his hand over him gently and went back inside. He laid him on the ground and got out of his suit. "Heero, can you hear me?" he asked, pushing him gently. He pulled Heero's helmet off and put his ear to Heero's mouth to check if he was breathing. Amazingly he was.

"Do you know him, sir?" the copilot asked.

"Yes I do."

"What's his name?"

"Heero Yuy, he's a gundam pilot."

"A gundam pilot? Why did you save him?"

Milardo looked at Heero and picked him up, dangling him over his shoulder, "for my sister."

"Your sister?"

"Yes." He laid Heero into a seat and began slapping his face, "Heero, can you wake up?"

"Is this the pilot you fought against so much? The pilot of 01?"

"Yes."

"I thought you hated him."

"I don't. I just liked fighting with him." 

Heero groaned but didn't wake up. 

"Get Julianne Foster for me." Milardo ordered, "I have a job for her."

Duo and Hilde began walking away when a young woman with blond hair pulled back in a French twist wearing a wine colored suit stood in front of them. 

"Who are you?" Hilde asked.

"Hilde Schbeiker?" the woman cocked her head.

"That's me."

"We spoke earlier," she reached behind her jacket and took out a badge and held out her other hand, "pleased to meet you, I'm Detective Julianne Foster." 

"Same," She shook her hand. "This is Duo Maxwell."

"Hi," Duo shook her hand. "You saw Heero's suit."

"Yes. And I think I may have some good news for you." She put her badge back into her breast pocket. "Could you come with me?" she turned around and began walking to a red mustang. "I just got a call from someone in outer space. They found your friend. He's alive."

"Heero's alive!" Duo shouted.

"Yes, but I'm afraid he's not awake yet." She got behind the wheel. "He's in a coma."

Duo got in the back as Hilde took the passenger seat, "but he's okay, isn't he?" Hilde asked.

"He's fine." She started up the engine. "I'll be coming with you to Earth and I'll stay until he wakes up. There's also some business on Earth I must take care of."

She took them to a small clinic where Heero was waiting. A nurse was checking his vital signs. "Detective Foster, good to see you."

"I brought his friends along. Hilde and Duo."

Duo walked right over to Heero's bedside. "I'll give anything just to hear him say 'Mission Accepted' just one more time."

Hilde took Heero's hand, "Heero, we're here to take you home."

Heero couldn't hear them. But there was a voice inside of his head talking to him, "What have you done? This isn't what you were trained to do." Heero couldn't remember the voice but it sure sounded familiar. It was a male voice, deep and emotionless. It sounded so familiar.

"Who found him?" Duo asked.

"Another detective," she replied, half-lying, "my partner."

"I'd like to meet your partner so I can thank him." Duo said and then he chuckled, "Or her?"

"Him. And I'm afraid you can't. He's on another assignment."

"Can you thank him for us?" Hilde asked. 

"Yes I can." Julianne said with a nod, "I certainly can."

"Well, let's get this guy home, huh?" Duo looked at Heero. "Many people are waiting for him."

"Wait, there's something I must tell you," Julianne said, "when my partner found him, he was wearing a casual suit, as if he planned on dying in nice clothes. Do you know why he would want do to something like this?"

Duo shook his head, "No. I just want to get my buddy home."

"Okay, I see that this was very hard on you." Julianne said, "So, let's go, shall we?"

They went back to Duo's shuttle and began to leave. Hilde got on the radio, "hey, can anyone hear me?"

Trowa's voice came on the line, "yes? I hear you."

"We've found Heero. He's alive! We're bringing him home. If it wasn't for Julianne and her partner, Heero would be gone."

"Who?"

"Hi," Julianne said in the microphone. Trowa's voice sounded familiar. She heard it before when she was a child. She was sure of it, but the voice was also a child's voice. "My name's Julianne Foster. I was the witness to the explosion. Your friend is just fine."

"Thank you. I'll tell the others. Over and out." Trowa tapped his hand on the counter. "That woman…I know her from somewhere." Trowa turned around in his chair. He went to find the others to tell them the good news.

Dorothy drove to the house and she had a feeling she should step on it. There was something waiting for her when she got there. She felt giddy and excited. "Heero," she whispered. "I can tell you're close." 

"Heero's alive?" Relena cried, "I knew it! I knew he'd make it!" she threw her arms around Trowa and then around Quatre.

"It's great news," Quatre agreed. "We'd better make him feel welcome."

"Yes, a welcome home party!" Relena shouted. "What do you think guys?"

"Sounds great," Trowa said with a nod, "I'll get his room ready for him."

"I'll make a dinner," Wufei said. "You weaklings don't know how to cook!" 

"I don't believe it," Quatre laughed, "Wufei made a joke!"

Trowa went to Heero's room and began cleaning it up. He put a welcome mint on Heero's pillow. He even brought in the TV and some magazines. Wufei went straight to the kitchen and started to cook some steaks. Quatre and Relena put up decorations.

"Hey, what's going on?" Dorothy demanded when she got out of the car.

"Heero's alive and he's coming home!" Relena cried.

"He is?" Dorothy said with a gasp, "that's great!" She hugged Relena, "but I have something I should tell you." 

"It can wait," Relena pressed, "help us set up."

"Sure, okay," Dorothy said, "want me to go to the store and get anything?"

"No, I'm sure we've got everything here." Quatre said, "but you can call Sally and make sure Wufei doesn't blow up the kitchen!"

"Okay, I'll call Catherine too."

"Hurry," Relena called, "we want everything perfect when Heero gets here!"

Everyone, especially Relena and Dorothy were happy to see Heero. As soon as Trowa saw Julianne Foster, he knew who she really was and she knew who he was. "Everyone, this is Julianne Foster." Hilde said. "She's the one who found Heero."

"I don't know how to thank you," Relena gushed, taking Julianne's hands. "This really means a lot to me. To all of us. Thank you so much."

Julianne smiled. "You're welcome. But it wasn't just me, it was my partner. He's in space right now on a separate assignment."

"I'd like to thank him," Relena said.

"I'll pass on the message." She looked at everyone crowded around Heero, "I think you all would want some time alone. I have to go get some things from the shuttle."

They placed in him in his room with the machines and Sally checked on him to see how he was doing. He was still in his coma, but he was breathing. But Sally made a terrifying discovery, if Heero did wake up, he may not be able to walk again.

"Are you sure, Sally?" Relena asked, squeezing Heero's hand.

"I just hope I'm wrong," she said glumly, "But remember, Heero's the only man who can do the impossible. If anyone can pull though, it's Heero." She smiled and touched her shoulder.

"Relena, there's something I want to tell you about," Dorothy said. "When I was on my drive, I got lost and went into a diner for some directions. These men were talking about Heero. They said…some cruel things."

"What exactly did they say?" Relena frowned.

"They said he was a fool to throw his life away. They didn't even know Heero!"

"What?!" Relena cried. "How dare they!"

"I told them off." She reported. "I might have scared everyone in the process but I gave those two jerks a piece of my mind. Told them to watch what they say about people they don't even know."

"I'd probably would've done the same thing," Relena said with a nod, "thank you, Dorothy." 

"Well, he's back and that's all that matters," Duo said. "But if anyone talks bad about my buddy, I'll break their bones!"

****************************

Trowa followed Julianne and grabbed her to turn her around, "What are you doing here, Julianne? Or should I say Midii Une?"

Julianne smiled and reached her hand to pull the barrette from her hair that held in the French twist. Her hair fell down to her shoulders, the same way it had always been, the way Trowa remembered it. "Good to see you again, No-Name."

"I'll ask again," he said firmly, "what are you doing here? Did you come again to ruin my life? You have another cross to give me?" He held her by the wrist and squeezed it.

"I have work to do," she turned to the shuttle but he whipped her around.

"I want answers, dammit!"

"I'm not here to cause any trouble," she said lightly, "I saved your friend, did I not?"

"Bull. What are you after? Who sent you?"

"Nothing," she said innocently, "you know I wouldn't want to hurt anybody."

"Yeah, but you'd do anything for your sick father and your little brothers would you?" he accused, "You wouldn't stop until you got what you wanted!"

"That's not true!" she snapped. 

"Oh, it isn't?" he let go of her wrist, "you stay away from my friends, understand? I know you're after something."

"You're wrong."

"I don't know what it is. You might be here to steal something from Relena or take over Quatre's fortune. Maybe to blow up all our gundams, I don't know, but I am going to find out," he stepped closer until his face was inches from hers, "one way or the other. Do you understand me?"

"You're so cruel."

"I'm a gundam pilot." He said simply. "I've always been a soldier, you know that."

"I see," she said, "but you know what? You once said we're the same, but we're not. I realized something. Yes, I did some awful things, but being a spy was what I was good at. I got used to it." She giggled, "I suddenly lost all emotion and didn't care. I began to like it. _All_ of it. Pretending to be somebody I'm not, tricking people, it's become a game to me. I'm not guilty anymore."

Trowa blinked in surprise.

"Know why? It's nothing compared to what you do. You kill people directly, No-Name and that is worse than anything I did. I heard all about you and your gundam." She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, "from the time you came to Earth and met Quatre and to the time you lost your memory. I know everything."

"How did you learn that?" Trowa gasped.

She smiled and stepped closer, "that my friend, is a secret." She ran her finger by his lips, winked and walked away, leaving Trowa to his thoughts.

Duo was playing chess with the unconscious Heero, "thought you could get away without playing with me, did you?" Duo said as he looked at the board He was black and Heero was white.. "Don't worry, I'll go easy on you. Hmmm. No, let's see." He picked up his knight and moved it (I don't know how to play chess so use your imagination!). "Okay, your turn."

Heero breathed through his nose. Duo watched his chest rise and fall. Still asleep. Duo walked to the other side and moved his pawn. "Mission Accepted, Duo," Duo said, trying to mimic Heero's tone.

Duo went to the other side, "aww, gee, Heero. That wasn't a good move," he moved his own pawn and then took Heero's piece away. "I'm good at this game!"

"Hey, Duo," Quatre came in the room, "how is he?"

"Still out. But I'm beating him at chess!"

Quatre shook his head and smiled, "listen, Trowa wants to talk to us all about something. He say's it's important."

"Sure," he stood up, "your move, Heero!" 

Quatre chuckled, "If Heero was awake, he'd beat you. You know that, right?"

Duo frowned, "hey, I let him win at 'Go Fish', gimmie a break!"

Trowa was waiting for the others in the lobby. Catherine was standing next to him.

"Hey, Trowa, what's up?" Duo asked.

"What do you know about Julianne Foster?" Trowa demanded with crossed arms.

"All I need to know. She saved Heero."

"Yeah," Hilde put in. "She said she was a detective."

"You're wrong," Trowa said simply, "dead wrong. She's not who she says she is. She's not a detective. Her name's not even Julianne Foster. It's Midii Une and she's a spy."

"Oh come on," Duo moaned, "she doesn't look like a spy to me."

"I met her before. She almost got me killed."

"When?" Catherine asked, raising an eyebrow. "How?"

"I met her when I was ten and I was part of a mercenary unit. I met her when my mobile suit was damaged and I guess she was lost or something. Or so she said. She was just using me to get close to my unit and because of her, just one girl, a lot of people died."

"But Trowa, you've done the same," Hilde said, "you're a gundam pilot."

"She could have gotten me killed. She cant' be trusted!"

"She was a ten year old spy?" Catherine mumbled, "What was she doing being a spy?"

"To get money."

"Okay, you're crazy, Trowa," Duo said, shaking his head. "Even if you are saying is true, what makes you think she's going to kill us? That was a long time ago."

"Yeah," Hilde agreed, "I trust her. She said that her partner found Heero."

"And who's her partner anyway?" Trowa added, "he's probably working on an ambush or something."

"She seems harmless to me," Quatre said honestly. "I don't think she'll try anything."

"You don't believe me, Quatre?" Trowa asked. 

Quatre frowned, "Trowa, I just meant…."

"Doesn't anyone believe me?"

Everyone was silent. 

Trowa walked to Catherine, "you believe me, don't you sis?"

Catherine sighed, "I-I guess so. You never lied to me before, but you're making this girl sound like she's a cold blooded killer." She rubbed her arms, "I don't think she meant for all those people to get killed."

"I agree with Catherine," Relena said, "accidents happen. But I guess we should keep an eye on her just incase something like that does happen."

"Oh-come-on!" Duo groaned, "why would she save Heero's life and then come to kill all of us? It doesn't make any sense!"

"Fine, believe what you want," Trowa put his hands up as in a form of surrender, "you've been warned." He began to walk away.

"Trowa, wait up!" Catherine went after him.

Relena went to check up on Heero. She smiled when she saw the chess board laying on the bed board. She picked it up and set it side then pulled the bed board around. Watching him closely, she sat on the edge and took his hand. "Hi," she began warmly. "I hope you can hear me."

Heero was able to breath on his own, but he still had a few machines connected to him. He didn't much like a war hero now but a dying man. It was breaking her heart to see him like this. It was easier for her to each him in battle than laying on the bed helpless.

"Heero, I want you to get better." She said as she looked at the bandage around his head. "I don't care how, just do it. Be the tough guy you always were. You lived through self detonating once, you can do it again," she said encouragingly, "You're not called the perfect soldier for nothing. I need you Heero, we all need you." She paused to look at his wrist with the IV. She looked at the other machines. Stickers were on his bare chest and stomach. "Heero, can you hear me?"

Heero's chest rose and fell again. Rise and fall, rise and fall. Inhale, exhale.

"You can't, can you?" she looked down, "you never really listened to me anyway." She stood up and began to walk away, when she felt a weak tug on her hand. Heero's hand was still grasped around hers. She looked at him, "Heero?"

Heero's eyes began blinking as he tried to wake up. 

"Come on, you can do it," she coached, "wake up, Heero." She sat next to him again and came up close, "Come on, come on." She felt happy tears roll down her eyes.

Heero's eyes felt heavy, but he managed to open them halfway. He looked around the room.

Relena let out a quick joyful laugh and fell upon his chest, ignoring all the stickers and wires. "You're awake!"

Heero's hands slowly reached up to her arms. He breathed in again and he cupped her chin. He smiled, "You're pretty…"

Relena smiled back. Probably the most honest compliment he ever gave her, "Oh, Heero…"

"What's your name?" he asked innocently.

Relena's jaw dropped open, "Heero, it's me, Relena," she said, trying not to panic. She swallowed, "you must've hurt your head, you're delusional and got amnesia."

"Are you an angel?" Heero asked. "You look like one. I thought I heard an angel talking to me. Was that you?"

"Heero, no, I'm not an angel," she put her hands on his chest, "please try to remember. You've got to remember. I'm Relena Dorlian, but my real last name is Peacecraft. I first met you on the beach."

Heero looked up at her blankly, "I don't remember. What was I doing there?"

"You're a gundam pilot," she told him, "I'm not really sure why you were there but you came from the colonies. And when I invited you to my birthday party you ripped it up and said you will kill me."

"Why would I want to do a thing like that?" he said, shocked that he'd do such a thing. "I'd never hurt someone as pretty as you." He put his hand up to her face. 

"I'll be right back to get Sally," she said, putting her hand down. 

"Sally?" he mumbled.

"Just stay here, don't move."

************************************

Dorothy changed out of her blouse and skirt into a red halter top and blue cuttoffs. She was barefoot and was sitting outside on the front porch. She wanted to see Heero, but he looked too weak laying in the hospital bed. She couldn't bear to see him like that. Once a unstoppable man, once a war hero now lay unconscious in a deep sleep. And if he were to wake up, walking would be difficult for him. He wasn't much of a soldier anymore.

"Hey," a voice said behind her, "don't you want to see Heero?"

"Maybe later." 

Footsteps came up behind her. She didn't need to turn around to see who it was. "Are you all right?"

"Yes."

"You're cold." She felt a hand.

"I'm fine. It's summer."

She heard some rustling and felt something thin around her shoulders. "Here."

"Now you'll get cold."

"Don't worry about me."

"Please leave," she begged.

"We have to talk."

"Quatre, please, just go."

"I'm not leaving you," he reached his hand to her hair. "I love you, Dorothy."

Dorothy swallowed, "I know, but I don't love you."

"I know you don't. But it won't change how I feel about you."

"I need time to think," she whispered, "you're making this hard."

Quatre bent down behind her and put his mouth to her ear, "no, you are. I'm trying to help you but you won't let me. Don' tyou know I'll do anything for you?"

"I know."

"Then why don't you let me help you?" he asked, "I always wanted to be with you but you keep pushing me away. Have I done something wrong? Are you mad at me?"

Dorothy turned her head to see Quatre's shimmering blue eyes. They looked so sincere. "You don't need me wrecking your life." She said, "I'll only hurt you more than I already have."

"Dorothy, listen," Quatre said, "I am worried about you. Since Heero…"

"Please don't say it. I don't like thinking about it."

"I want to be with you," he whispered into her ear. "I love you."

"Why don't you be with Relena?" she asked, "she loves you."

"She loves Heero," he corrected, "I'm just kind."

"I love him too," Dorothy murmured, "but I can't stand to see him laying there like that."

Quatre put his hands on her arms, "It's still Heero. He'll wake up soon and he'll walk again."

"I don't want to talk about it!"

"We _need_ to talk about it," Quatre turned her around. She saw that he was wearing a white tank top. He actually looked strong like Heero. He had a tight chest. His biceps looked big, but not rippling. And she thought he was weak underneath. She saw the outline of four abdominal muscles in the tank top.

"I thought you didn't work out," she whispered. "I never thought you were…"

"Buff?" Quatre said with a shy smile, "well, Dorothy, I have 29 sisters, I got to protect them _somehow._ Besides, everyone in the Magunac Core are strong enough to twist metal!"

Dorothy looked down.

"It's a joke, but they are a bunch of strong men. I just want to be like them. I look up to those guys."

"I never saw you in a tank top before," she mumbled, "you're always wearing preppy clothes. Don't like the rugged style?"

Quatre blushed, "I got a bit hot."

Dorothy smiled, "Quatre, listen, I don't love you, but I'll always be grateful to you for what you did for me. Your kindness means a lot."

Quatre held her chin, "if you need anything more from me…"

"I'll ask," she said, "I know you'll be there."

"When I left Libra," he began, "I thought I'd never see you again. I wish I stayed to comfort you while you were crying."

"Oh, there was a place you needed to be," she whispered, "don't' worry about it." She stepped forward to erasure him with a little hug. The dark blue thin shirt fell from her shoulders. 

This little hug didn't remain as a little hug for long. Quatre's wish to finally hold her in his arms came true and he tightened his arms around her and pulled her close to him. Dorothy was surprised at his reaction but kept her arms around his neck. It felt good to finally be held by someone. She really could have used this on Libra. The little hug became an long, intimate and comforting embrace. She rested her head on his shoulder, her lips brushing against his neck as Quatre laid his head on hers. Sighing, she found herself needing more and reached her hand to his thick blond hair. Loosing himself in the moment, Quatre pushed his hands against her bare back and began rubbing it. He almost began to untie the strings that held the halter top on, but forced himself not to. He remained holding her just like he always wanted to. He was greatly disappointed when they pulled apart.

"I love you," he whispered, "don't forget that."

"How can I?" she asked, "take care."

"If you need me…"

"I know where to find you!" she smiled and pecked his cheek.

"I'm going to go check on Heero now," he said, "you'll be okay?"

She nodded. "I just want to stay out here for a while." She went to sit on the steps again and gazed at the sky.

****

End Part 2. What is Midii after? Has Heero completely forgotten everything? Find out in Part 3!


	3. A Soldier's Worst Nightmare 3

****

A Soldier's Worst Nightmare Part 3

I do not own Gundam Wing.

Catherine wanted more than anything to believe her brother, so she sneaked into Julianne's bedroom. She wasn't there, thank goodness. "all right, Julianne, what are you hiding?" She started by looking underneath the mattress. Nothing, not even a dust bunny, "funny, that's where I hide my diary from Trowa." (Isn't that where everyone hides their diary?) she searched the closet. Nothing. The drawers. Nothing. She saw a bag that was set on the other side of her bed. "Why haven't I seen that before?" she went to open the zipper and reached her hand in. She found a calendar planner. She skimmed through it. 

Then something caught her eye: September 9, 204 AC, 7:00 P.M Heero leaves earth with intent to commit suicide. 6:21 P.M self detonates. 6:40, tell others news and tell Hilde Schbeiker to come to Colony L2. 8:00 P.M Heero is found and saved by Milardo Peacecraft.

"Milardo Peacecraft??" Catherine gasped and then read on.

8:30 PM meet Hilde Schbeiker and Duo Maxwell. 9:30 return to Earth. 

That was all that she had wrote in so far. She skimmed through it to find more and then went through the bag and found pictures of the gundam pilots and their gundams. Then she found a black notebook titled "Top Secret."

Catherine's eyes widened with excitement, "Hellooooo," she picked it up and began reading it.

S.U.A: Spy Undercover Agency

Code Name: Julianne Peterson, detective

Number: 008 (play the 007 music now…)

Real Name: Midii Une, spy

Mission: Find gundam pilots and learn why Heero tried to commit suicide. Get as much information on every gundam pilot and Vice Minister Dorlian as possible. Steal files on them if you have too. You will know what to do. If anyone interferes, kill them. 

Milardo Peacecraft.

There was more about the mission and other missions Midii did. Apparently she did about 12 more missions since she met Trowa. She was supposed to blow up some bases and other buildings. There were some weapons in the bag. "Oh my god…Trowa was right…I need to show this to Trowa," Catherine whispered.

"What in the hell are you doing in my room?" Midii demanded with a shout.

Catherine turned around to see Julianne, or Midii standing with her arms crossed. She thought she should come up with a fake story, maybe tell her dinner was ready or if ask if she wanted to go to the mall, but she decided not to play games and came out. She held up the book, "well, well, well, Julianne Foster, or should I say Midii Une? You've got some explaining to do."

Midii dropped her arms, "Don't think so!" she lunged forward to Catherine and tackled her to the ground. She learned fighting techniques when she turned twelve. She was tougher than some people thought. She punched Catherine's face. "No one interferes with me!"

"Everyone will learn the truth about you!" Catherine cried out, trying to get Midii away. They twirled around on the floor, hands around each other's throats. 

"That's why I'm here!" Midi shouted, breaking Catherine's hold on her throat and kneeing her in the stomach. "I'm here to learn the truth of all the gundam pilots and you can't stop me!"

"Oh yes I can!" Catherine grunted as she held her stomach. 

"Forget it," she reached her hand behind her back and whipped out a gun, "you're dead. Too bad, Catherine, I was really starting to like you. But you're just like your brother, you don't have anything to worry about. I hate people like you! Your life is so carefree, well, now your life's over!" she began to pull the trigger when Catherine quickly reached in the bag, pulled out a knife and threw it at Midii, cutting her hand that held the gun. Midii yelped in surprise and applied pressure to her cut hand.

"Okay Midii, I know your talent. So you're really good at messing up people's lives," Catherine said as she picked up another knife, "and I'm a knife thrower in a circus and I _never_ miss." She through the knife at Midii's sleeve, nicking her arm and sticking into the wall. She threw another one to trap Midii's other sleeve and then her pants. Midii couldn't move.

"Hey!" Midii snarled. "Let me go!"

Catherine got up and slapped Midii, "now listen, I want you to tell _everyone_ the truth! You almost cost Trowa's life once and I won't let you do it again!"

"I never meant for him to get hurt," Midii groaned, "I was just doing my job!"

"Me too," she took the knives off of her clothes and pulled her away from the wall. Holding her wrists behind her back, Catherine took her to the lobby.

********************************

"Sally," Relena cried, running to the room, "Sally, Sally!"

"Whoa, what is it?" she took her arms and held them to her sides, "Relena, calm down."

"Heero's awake, but he can't remember anything!" she said quickly, her words running together, "what he doesn't get his memory back? You've got to do something!"

"Calm down, Relena," Sally said.

"What's the matter?" Quatre said when he heard the commotion.

"OH, Quatre!" she turned quickly into his arms. "Heero's got amnesia! He doesn't remember who I am!"

"At least he's awake," he said comfortingly. He remembered the time when Trowa lost his memory and didn't remember Quatre. It was so weird and sad for Quatre to finally find him and to see that he didn't even know who he was.

"Please do something!" Relena cried, "please!"

"I'll check on him," Sally said. "Calm down, okay. He's awake. Don't worry, these things usually happen." She left.

Quatre kept holding her as she cried and then heard yelling down the hall.

"Let go of me you little wench!" Midii cried.

"No way!" Catherine said, bringing her to her knees.

"Catherine, what's going on?" Quatre came out.

"Whoa," Duo and Hilde came out, "what's going on here?"

"Catherine, what's the matter?" Trowa came out and his eyes widened when he saw them, "oh my god…"

"Alright, Julianne, or should we say Midii?" Catherine began, "we want answers and we want them now!" she threw the book to Trowa, "Trowa, you were right!"

"I don't believe this," Trowa moaned as he looked at the book. 

"You were using us just to get information?" Duo demanded as he looked over Trowa's shoulder.

"Tell us, Midii," Trowa said, "out with it. Tell us how and why you got involved with this and what exactly are you after?" 

Midii was silent.

"Dammit, Midii," Trowa dropped the book and stormed over her to shake her, "Tell me!"

Midii pushed him away, "let me go, No-Name!"

"No-Name?" Duo raised an eyebrow, "so they do know each other! But what kind of name is 'No-Name?'"

"I never meant for this to happen!" Midii cried.

"Oh, didn't you?" Trowa moaned, "tell us the truth."

"Fine, I'll tell you. It was all a set up, okay? We tricked Heero into coming to outer space. We gave him a private mission. He wanted to know where he fit in with the world. That's why he was all dressed up, he was coming to the L2 colony for a meeting."

"I don't believe it," Relena gasped, "Heero could have died because of you!" 

Quatre put his arms around her to steady her, "just let her talk."

"That doesn't explain the self detonation," Wufei said. "You said he wasn't fighting anyone?"

"Right. To tell you the truth, I'm not exactly sure why he self detonated really." Midii crossed her arms, "I thought you would know. Aren't you his friends? Perhaps he felt left out or unloved or maybe he thought if he'd self detonate because his Gundam was of no use anymore. Maybe he was of no use either."

"You bitch!" Hilde shouted, she ran to Midii and punched her across the face (don't German people get very mad very fast?). "How dare you say that! He was a gundam pilot for crying out loud! You tricked us! You tricked me!! How dare you! We've trusted you!" she began choking Midii and Duo pulled her away from her.

"Hilde stop!" Duo grunted as he pinned Hilde's arms to her sides as he tried pulling her off Midii. "Come on, settle down!" 

Relena shook with sorrow and surprise at how Hilde was acting. She turned around because she couldn't bear to watch it. Burying he face into Quatre's shoulder, she could still hear Hilde shouting at Midii. "It's not true," she mumbled, "it's not true."

"You weren't going to stop at Heero, were you?" she snarled, raising her fists. Duo tightened his arms around her as she tried jumping toward Midii. "You were gonna kill us all off? Was Duo, next, huh? You knew he was coming for Heero, weren't you? Dammit, you're so damn low! How could you, how could you?" she began sobbing and Duo turned her to him.

"Come here," he whispered as he pulled her close. "Just let it out…" He looked up from Hilde's head and scowled at Midii, "so who's your partner anyway?"

"Millardo Peacecraft." She answered, "he's who found Heero."

"Millardo Peacecraft?" everyone cried in unison.

"My brother's…alive?" Relena mumbled.

Trowa joined in with Hilde's accusation, "you were going to kill me too, weren't you? When will you learn?" he turned to her and saw that she was crouched to her knees, holding her head down and holding her throat, rubbing it from where Hilde's hands tightened around it. "Answer me, Midii. Why did you come here? Was this your plan all a long? You were going to get close to me again and try to kill me again, weren't you?" he paused as he looked down at her, "what more do you have to say for yourself?"

Midii's shoulders began to shake and she put her hand to her face, "I-I am so sorry."

"Sorry?" Trowa grabbed her and pulled her up fiercely, "sorry? Sorry didn't bring back the captain, did it? Sorry didn't bring back all those innocent people you help kill or the people in my unit?"

"They betrayed you and you survived."

"It doesn't matter," Trowa groaned, "you've done all this and all you can say is you're sorry?" He shook her, "What's the matter with you?"

"Trowa, stop!" Quatre cried. 

He turned Relena around and pushed her aside as Dorothy came in with a "what's going on" look on her face. Relena wiped away a few tears and looked at her as if to say, "don't ask."

Quatre came up to Trowa and pulled him back, "Can't you see she's crying? She said she was sorry!"

"I can't believe you had the mordacity to even show your face again!" Trowa cried, "I should have killed you when I had the chance!"

"You didn't have to save me, No-Name," she whimpered as tears went down her cheeks. "You could have just left me alone."

"Heero almost died because of you. He lost his memory," he said, "do you know what it is like to forget who your friends are?"

Midii shook her head.

"I lost my memory once before and I to get it back. Do you have any idea how frustrating it was for me? I forgot who I was, I forgot who my friends were!"

"Heero's not dead though."

"Yeah, thank goodness," Trowa said, "but you put all our lives in danger. You almost got my sister killed!" he nodded to Catherine, "she's the only thing that matters to me in this world and you almost got her killed! Midii, how could you? Why Midii, why?"

"Don't you understand?" she cried, "I just wanted to see you again!" she punched Trowa across the face, way harder than when Catherine punched him when he tried to self detonate and she pushed him back and ran off. 

He fell into Catherine and he rubbed his face," Yeah, go ahead, run, run away like you always do!" Trowa shouted back.

"Trowa, go after her," Catherine urged, her hand on his arm.

"Are you nuts? She could've killed you!" he put his arms on hers. 

"Just do it!" she cried, in the same tone when she told him to leave when she saw him and Quatre talking, "Get going!" she gave him a push.

"But sis--"

"She loves you," Catherine said, "go, before she runs away!"

Trowa sighed and ran after her, "Midii, hold up!" 

"Leave me alone, No-Name!" Midii almost got to her shuttle when Trowa grabbed her and turned her around. Screaming and banging against his chest, she tried to get free, but Trowa held on to her tight. "I know how you feel about me! I knew this just wouldn't work the way I wanted it, but I had to see you again! Now, I'm sorry and I'm leaving okay? I was wrong, I shouldn't have gotten involved, but it was the only way!"

Trowa moaned and closed her eyes, "you came all the way here, you did all this, just to see me?"

She lowered her head down as she began her cry, "just let me go. I learned my lesson, okay? I learned my lesson!" she banged against his chest again and he pulled her close.

"Oh, Midii," he sighed.

"I just wanted to see you again. I knew it was wrong, but I tried not to think abut it." She mumbled, wrenching his shirt in her fingers, "I didn't care what I had to do. I only wanted to see you again."

Trowa didn't know what to say, he just held her as she talked.

"I'm just so sorry." She said over again.

"You said that already."

"I don't know what else to say. But I'm a spy and this is what I do. But I never meant to hurt you." She bit her lip, "Milardo Peacecraft isn't really my partner anyway. He just happened to find him." She sighed and stepped back, "I should go. I'm not welcome here."

"You can stay," he said, "I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I don't know what got into me. I'm usually quiet."

"Yeah, I know," she said, giving him a weak smile. She wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Come on, it's getting chilly," he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and went inside.

***********

Everyone besides Trowa and Midii was back in Heero's room and watched Sally check on him, "what was all that commotion about?" Sally asked, taking Heero's blood pressure.

"Trowa was right about Julianne," Catherine answered, "She's a spy."

"What?" Sally gasped.

"Huh?" Heero whispered.

"It's a long story, Heero," Relena said, taking his hand.

"They lured Heero out to space. It was all a set up!" Duo groaned. "They probably really know why he self detonated and they're not telling us."

"Self detonate?" Heero murmured. His voice was no longer low and gruff like it used to be. It was young, innocent and sweet, like a child's.

"Yeah, buddy," Duo said, "people lured you out to space and you tried to kill yourself."

"Why would I want to do a thing like that?"

Duo shrugged.

"How do you feel, Heero?" Quatre asked.

"Sore and tired."

"Can you feel your legs?" Sally said, giving them a push.

Heero shook his head. Relena gave a muffled cry and Quatre put his hand on her shoulder. Dorothy turned to face the wall and punched it. She put her head against it. Hilde covered her face and turned to Duo as Duo rubbed his head in confusion. Wufei looked at the ground and groaned. Trowa stepped in and saw everyone's expression. He sighed and shook his head. Catherine walked to him and wrapped her arms around him.

Sally took a straight pin and pulled the covers from Heero's feet, "let me know if you feel anything." She started pushing the pin on his toes and feet. Heero laid there, unable to feel anything.

"I'm going to run a few tests," Sally said, "maybe it's only temporary."

"God I hope so," Duo groaned, "I truly hope so." Everyone left the room and sat in the waiting room.

"Where's Midii?" Catherine asked.

"Resting," Trowa answered.

They sat in silence until Sally walked out, a clipboard in her hands, "Good news, everyone. His muscles seem to be fine. Something in his mind is preventing him from being able to feel or move his legs." (It's true, I saw it once on "Guiding Light!" A woman was shot and she couldn't walk, not because of her muscles or nerves, because it was all in her head.)

Everyone breathed a sigh of releif.

"But we don't know when he'll be able to walk," Sally said sadly. "He's resting now."

"Can we see him?" Relena asked, "just to see him?"

Sally nodded, "don't take too long."

They went to check on him for a few minutes. Relena kissed his forehead, followed by Dorothy. "Come back to me, Heero," Relena whispered, her lips slightly brushing his temple, "come back to me, my perfect soldier."

The other pilots didn't know what to say. Relena said it all for them.

That night, Heero had nightmares. Memories, _painful,_ _aggonizing, tormenting, _memories came back to haunt him. From when he was a child and was learning how to pilot the Wing Gundam and how to hold a gun. He wasn't just trained, it was like he was _programed._ Trained to fight and kill. That was all he knew. He fougth without mercy. Didn't wait to feel for what he done. How many people had he killed? Heero woke up with a muffled scream. 

"A dream," he whispered, "a dream…but it didn't make any sense." He sat on his bed for a while. There was a wheelchair next to him. He thre the covers over and tried to get into it. He got inside after a few struggles and began wheeling his way down the hall. Something told him to make a left, where the gundams were held. Heero made a short cry when he saw all the gundams and mobile suits standing around. He wheeled his way down and looked at them more. 

He turned his head where the Wing Zero used to be and then more memories. Not just from his childhood, but from each mission he took. He was more than just a soldier, he was a killer. He never thought of it. "What I did was wrong," he groaned. "Why did I do that?" he remembered when he tried to kill Relena and the memory was so painful for him that he fell from the wheelchair. More and more painful memories poured through his mind. It got too much to handle and then Heero, once the perfect soldier, once the man who fought without a second thought, once the man who could do the impossible, now became a helpless child, a sorrowful being, now broke down and cried.

"AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!"

Relena sat straight up. She was having bad dreams of her own and ran out of her room and found Heero. "Is he…crying?" she walked up behind him and sat down behind him, "Heero, what's wrong?"

"I-I remember," he whimpered, "_everything._"

Relena put her arms around his neck and held her head on his shoulder, "you remember me?"

"Yes. I remember what I did. I tried to kill you. Just what kind of man am I?"

"Hey, you were only doing what you were trained to do," she said, understandingly.

"Programmed is more like it," he said. "Why did I become a gundam pilot? Why not a doctor or something? And how did I end up with Heero Yuy's name?" Heero said, disgusted, "I'm not as great as he is."

"You're right," she said.

Heero frowned.

"You're _greater._"

"How can that be? Relena, I did some terrible things in my past!"

"So leave it in the past," she said, "it's over. You're a wonderful person, Heero. So what if you didn't become just like the late Heero Yuy. He fought for peace his own way and you fought by yours. He was assassinated for it. You survived. That's why I think you're so great."

"When I was young, just maybe 6 years old, I learned how to pilot a gundam," he groaned, "do you know what that was like for me? I didn't even have a childhood! Kids like me went to school, they played. While I was off learning how to kill people!"

"Honey, listen to me," she said, "we need people like you to fight for us. If it weren't for you and your strength, Earth would be gone. I'd probably be dead if you haven't protected me all that time. Do you remember?"

"Yes."

"Just let it go," she whispered. "It's all over Heero." She tightened her arms around him. They rocked back and forth. She could feel Heero's sorrow.

"I can't. I wish I could, but I can't. I feel like I've let everyone down."

"You haven't, Heero," she looked into his eyes, "you haven't."

Heero reached his hands to her face, "you're so beautiful," he said. _Why haven't I kissed her yet?_

Relena smiled and held a hand to his, "you're so perfect," she sighed. _Why hasn't he kissed me yet?_

Heero closed his eyes and leaned forward to finally kiss Relena. It was short, innocent, sweet and pure. Relena's eyes fluttered open. Heero stroke Relena's cheek. "I've always wanted to do that."

"Oh, Heero," she murmured, "you're so wonderful. Don't forget that."

"She's right, Heero," Dorothy said behind her.

"Why are you up?" Relena asked.

"Couldn't sleep. I decided to get some water."

"Join the club."

"How are you feeling, Heero?" Dorothy asked, taking a step.

"Terrible."

"He's got his memory back," Relena said.

"So what's wrong?" Dorothy raised an eyebrow.

Heero closed his eyes for a moment, "I really don't feel like talking about it."

Relena helped him back in the wheelchair, "you should be resting."

"Yeah, take me to my room."

"Goodnight, Heero," Dorthy said, giving him a quick kiss on his cheek, "wait, I want to tell you about something. Two men heard about you and said that young people like us don't know what's good for us and that you kiled your self on purpose. Well, you're a great person Heero, and that's all there is to it."

"Thanks, Dorothy," Heero murmured, he looked up at Relena, "could you stay with me?"

"Sure I will." She took him to his room and helped him into his bed. She sat next to him and watched him fall asleep and then she put her arms on his chest, followed by her head and fell asleep.

The next morning, Heero was feeling a bit better. He even had some feeling in his legs. He opened his eyes and pushed Relena off him.

"What is it?" she asked.

Not answering, Heero threw the covers off and swiveled his legs to the side of the bed. 

"Heero, your legs…"

"Let me concentrate," he said. He left his legs on the floor for a while and slowly stood up. Relena stedided him with her arm

"You're…standing…"

Heero took a step forward and dragged his other leg behind him. He wobbled but was able to move his legs.

"Everyone, come quick!"

"What's going on….oh my gosh!" Duo came rubbing his head. "Heero, you're walking! I knew you could do it!"

"It's a miracle!" Hilde cried.

"Was there ever any doubt?" Dorothy asked with crossed arms.

"He's the only man who could make the impossible possible," Sally said. "Amazing."

"And he's got his memory back!" Relena added.

"Hi Duo…Hi Hilde. Hi Dorothy. HI Trowa. Hi Catherine. Hi Quatre. Hi Wufei. Hi Sally," Heero welcomed them by name and then saw Midii. The smile fell from his face, "_you!"_

Midii froze, "uh-oh."

"I know who you are!" Heero said, hobbling to her, "you're the one who called me to outer space. This could've been the best mission of my life and you ruined it for me! You tricked me into self detonating."

"No I didn't."

"I would never do it on purpose," Heero said, "I made that mistake once and a soldier never makes the same mistake twice."

"It wasn't me," Midii said honestly, "I was in outer space."

"I tried to transform Wing Zero and when I pushed the button….everything went black," Heero said, "that's what happened. Someone tampered with my gundam!"

"I swear I didn't do it," Midii whispered, "I don't even know how to work a gundam. It had to be someone here."

"What about your partner?" Duo said, "Millardo Peacecraft."

Heero's eyes widened, "Zechs?!"

"Course not, why would he try to kill you and then save you?" Midii said, "he was in outer space too. He saved your life, Heero!"

"He…saved…my…life?"

"Yes he did," Midii said with a nod. "So it wasn't Millardo."

"Then who was it?" Quatre asked, "we let no one get close to our mobile suits except for the engineers."

"Uh, Heero," Howard said, over the intercom "I uh….made a mistake with your gundam…."

"Forget it, Howard," Heero said, "you're a bit too late. It's okay. I'm alright. You can't keep a good soldier down!" 

Everyone laughed, "Hey, Duo?"

"Yeah Heero?"

Heero walked forward to the chess board. The pieces were still the same. He moved his rook and knocked out Duo's king, "Checkmate."

Duo folded his arms, "man….he beats me at everything!"

****

The End. Did you really think I would leave Heero to be a vegetable? I'm glad you liked it!!


End file.
